final wishes

A friend of the family husband died on Sunday. His funeral is today. It was not a surpise or anything he has been sick for a long time now. I believe he had cancer. He had planned his funeral himself. There were things that he didn't want done. The number one thing that is bring to ask the question/make the post about this is, he did not want his children coming to the funeral. I don't know the detail about it, whether it's just the funeral or what. I can understand that because one of them is really young. The other one is a little older and she's been asking a lot of questions. Their mother said that she was going to take them away even though it's against his wishes. The way I see it, it's not just his kids that he is like this with. He said he didn't want people staring at him a long time. So he wanted the viewing for 30mins. I understand her said to about how to deal with the questions that they are going to ask and it will be a little easier if they see/know what's going on.
My mom was saying that she thinks that is right because right now she is the one raising her kids and no one else can tell you how to raise your kids. My mom said that she took my sisters to their father's funeral. (well all of them except me, I was only 4 when my father died but I'm the one that found him so what's the difference there?) She said that I really didn't have any questions or anything.

Anyway Lisa (this girl well woman that I'm talking to right now) has been very sweet to me lately. I don't know much about her yet we just started talking. She lives in Washington. She I think she said she teaches math, I don't remember but I know she is a teacher. I told her that I don't have a passion for anythingright now.My question is how much do you vaule the wishes of the dead?