Some Quotes I Wanted To Keep

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.-- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

If that could be, it would be perfect happiness. It's just this way that I love you, kill you..How dangerous! That boy is dangerous all over! Run faster! I have to get far away from him! Or else, those eyes of his will trap me!I don't know what, but I could never forget your smile. It's because your smile looks so sad, like you're in trouble.
Kaori Yuki

That Guy That Works At That Place

Well, last week this guy that works at rent-a-center (that is like one door down from the store I work at) came in and that day was the first day that he ever touched me. I just noticed today that I don't know his name. He comes into the store all the time. He has the most beautiful eyes. I think he has two kids, I'm not sure but he did bring them into to the store one day. They were so cute too. Anyway yesterday he was all like I'll buy for you if you want one. I really wasn't thinking about it and I was taken off guard bye it. I was all funny about it and was like, "ummm why? no really why?" I was like because it was no mystery that I have three jobs so I don't need anyone's money. I know that he knows that too. Anyway today he comes in and asked me about my necklace. It's just this pendant on a black cord. the symbol on the pendant is the symbol that was on the orbs in the show roswell which is like something I am/was obessed with. We got into this conversation about sci-fi shows. After he left Pam a girl I work with started talking to me about him. That she loves his eyes, that he so easy to talk to, an all around joy to be around. She didn't know that he had kids though. But for the most part I do agree with what she was saying. I think that he is a great guy but other than that i've never really thought about him until now.

I still think about that guy sometime. Brain I was just asking about him the other week and i just missed him. He had came into the store the night before. He is just so nice and sweet. Well, he seems that way anyway.

Hurtful Dreams

Most of the next entries are going to be from an older journal I use to keep on this site i use to go to all the time. I don't have much interest in the site now.


Hurtful Dreams
I use to have wake up all the time and something would have happened to me to somehow. I use to find cuts on myself all the time. It hasn't happen for awhile though. The other i woke up and the corners of my mouth was hurting. It's wasn't like a cut or anything but like something bothered the skin there. It was like i have a gag on but has a reaction to the fabric of the straps on it. I don't know though. They are slowly giving more manger's stuff to do at the dollar store. Yesterday they had me doing markdowns. That is something that they usually only have mangers to do because you have to use the softorder gun to that. then they had me recover the store which is somthing that the mangers usually do. So i'm not sure what they are trying to pull.The other ady i asked my nephew if he wanted to go to the movies since I was off that afternoon. He didn't have his schedule yet so he didn't know. When he got it he wasn't able to go. Then like he calls me the next day and was telling me what he said to this girl that he was going to take with us. So, damn girl that i don't know even know and before he knew whether he could go or not if he knew that he wanted to bring that girl he could have at least asked first.....I think sometime next month i'm going to go take my written test. i don't know yet.

Cutness Overload

I saw my friend's baby yesterday. Her Name is Nayoree she was 7lb and 1oz when she was born. She was awake yesterday. The last time I saw her she was sleep. Tiffany (her mother) was all like she's just looking at you. I'm like yeah well she's like who is this person? I've never seen her before. I'm going to fight! she's really cute she bawls up her little fist and put them in front of her face like she's about to start boxing. So very very cute. She of course doesn't have very much in the way of eyebrows. She does have a full head of hair though. Her eyes still sorta stick together when she opens and closes them

Movies

I finally saw three movies that I've like been wanted to see for a good while now. I saw Closer, Sideways and Romeo Must Die. I did like them all. Romeo Must Die is just about what I expected it to be. Though I thought that DMX would have a bigger role in it. Closer was not what I expected it to be. I thought for someone reason it would be more emotional. Maybe it was just my view of it. Maybe I'm just not connected enough to the story and what's going on it to really feel it. I think it was very real the way it ended. I mean how many of us know or go through ourselves at a certain point where we don't want to be hated. Not going to take another failed relationship. Don't want to be that person who can't make it work with anyone. Sideways did start off really slow. The first time I put it in I fell asleep on it. So, I finally finished it today. it was interesting once the girls got invovled. It was so funny at the end with the last girl he sleeps with.

I know I should be posting all this other stuff but I just don't feel like it. I can believe what this dumb ass guy is saying. ohmigod. My friends are going to have a laughing fit over this. Well, friend to be more accuarte. I only tell one of my friends that kind of stuff about what I'm going through with the guys that I date on the rare event that I do have a date. I just I'm going to just like give this guy paul the run around. I didn't really like what he had to say the first time on the phone and franly if I just wanted sex I have three people that I can call anytime I want for that. One of my questions that I ask everyone when I meet them or chat with them or whatever is what are you obessed with. I think to me that it shows that you have interest in other things. Plus you have real feeling for it.

Sign Name

I was talking to my nephew online last night. He's like where did you get that sn? Am like i don't know what you are talking about what is a sn? oh okay that. On msn you can change your name thingy to anything that you want it to be. Well, my friend Nolan had posted this poem he wrote sometime in 2005. So from that poem i got this SN that i put up on my account. "I FIND DEATH WITH YOU BECAUSE WHEN I AM EMBRACED BY YOUR SMILE I SEE A BEAUTY THAT COULD ONLY END MY WORLD." I got from his poem 'lukewarm devotion'. Well I have more things to say about him and his writing but I'll save that for another time.

I feel so bad about not really posting as much as I feel I should. I know how I feel when my friends that I view online haven't updated it. I'm not to worry about that here because i haven't told anyone about this journal so it's just poeple who look by chance and not really anyone i know. If i was going to start sharing this with people that i know i would have to edit like so much stuff out. I know that is what Evelyn Lee does. So many people that she in her everyday life goes her site that she says she is careful about what she does post. basicly it can come back and bite her on the ass.

Feeling Unconnected

I was watching a show last week and it was a comedy show but they talking about alot of things that made sense. I mean like there was this one indian guy talking about how white people but dreamcathcer in there car. He's like dreamcathcers are to keep bad spirits away while you sleep. They put them in their car....that's why i won't ride with white people.....anyway this other guy was talking about hitler. That we know from history that he is a monster and evil guy or whatever. Though we know this and what he did was horrible, we never think if only i could get that guy in alley somewhere. I think the reason for this is because we are disconnected from the horrible actions that this person set upon the world. We didn't directly feel it so we don't have the emotion or hate or whatever it is toward this person. it's a whatever sort of thing because we didn't live though. So that makes me question the things that are going today. how do we connect with what's going on when most of us live our lives not caring.

gone gone gone

I'm just so upset about my other online journal just disappearing. It was on diary-x. Went there the sometime last week and everything from everyone is gone. I was so mad, this always seems to happen to me. Is it just me? Can I just not pick good sites that if a crash happens, they have someone that can fix it.

I brought my review home from the other day and showed my mom. She's like what's the book about? I was confused because I didn't know she was talkig about my review. (which I did pretty good in. just one area I need to really really work on. I got a 2.5% raise which is good I mean it's way better than my other job at dollar tree. They didn't even give us (by us I mean alisha and i) our reviews to even get a shot at a raise.) Then she like not having me come in at all today. I only work on sundays. So, now this week she doesn't have me coming in. Well, fine. Of course I say that right now but i'm going to be missing the check next week. Anyway the review itself was only about 8 pages long plus my comments(2 pages).

I got a call from Aron like yesterday. Dude you are so lucky I just topped up my phone. I had 10 whole cents on there. But it was interesting to hear his voice, even with all the noise in the backround. He sounds like he looks on webcam. So, I don't know we really didn't talk about much. I mean I don't really know what to talk about with him like on the phone because you're like right on the spot. 'Like come on hun you're wasting my time.' But then it's not like he was all info sharing either. I don't want to ask to many questions and I don't want to talk all the time either because it makes me feel selfish. Now I'm like wondering what he thought of me and my voice....

I don't know why but lately I've been having this strong feeling of wanting to draw a fairy. It's the same feeling I had about this jar of stuff i made. A fairy lived in their. I think it was a water lavender fairy. I don't know everytime I looked at it I was a or rather the fairy in there.